Tuesday, April 13th, 2010; 11:20 pm .- I was at work, finalizing a long journey. While sitting on my desk, I caught a glimpse from a window. It was raining.
As long it was the rain flowing, I was mindwiped. I began to remember what happened to me in the recent 30+ days. I'll be specific. Eventually, in the love side. A month ago, I recieved one of the most devastating blows ever. The woman I swore my passion and love for life, opted to dump me. I'll think this time will be for good. Since the year began, we've been arranging if we can soldify our relationship. Yes, we both were trying and I was making the process of staging the "upcoming" marriage, but... As she was considering her decision, opted to get another man in front of my eyes (literally). I was even humiliated publicly. Brokenhearted, I had no choice but turn around and not strike back.
I quickly needed a reboot. I maded another try (with another girl altogether), but I was spurned. Yes, spurned again. Making dates since my early childhood, I've been spurned many times than being in a firm, solid relationship.
At one point, I asked myself: I have nothing else to prove, why am I so over-rejected? It's a very unresolved but simple question. I will admit I sleep very well at night, but the couple is missing, indeed.
Then, that rainy night gave me all my tears back. I wanted to weep openly. I couldn't. I will admit I still love the girl, but life goes on as cruel and evil, as generous and good.
While I 've been fighting back tears in the past 30 days, the heavens cried for me. :'(
"The Lord gave, and the Lord had taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21)